Epic Fail...

as my boys would say...

Abigail attended Vacation Bible School last week at a local church and their final program was scheduled for Sunday afternoon.  The hubby and I had decided that we really had so much to do that if she didn't bring it up, we wouldn't either.  We got some major yard work completed and even made time to take Abigail and Z fishing at the neighbors.

We all had fun and time stood still for bit. 

So, around 7pm, well beyond the time for the "party", my sweetheart realized she missed it.  The tears came fast and furious...hers AND mine.  She was crushed and I have never, EVER felt so guilty.  How selfish of me to think she wouldn't mind missing it, or she'd forget about it...sigh* 

After a trip to the local ice cream joint, things were better...not fixed... but forgiven.  Thank goodness she has a very big heart. 

Lesson Learned.

Earthquake???

Just felt the need to post that I was sitting at my desk today at work, in Akron OH, and the floor shook and my desk shook and we all just looked at each other...wow!  THAT doesn't happen every day, thankful it wasn't a big one and no one was hurt!  Made me think back to China and Haiti and what they've experienced with earthquakes.  No comparison.  No complaints here.

Blessings,

Wendy

Happy Father's (Baba's) day

The first time I was called Baba was on May 8th 2007 in Nanjing.  Today I must have heard "Happy Father's Day" a hundred times and almost all of them were from Abigail.  I can remember her nanny asking "Baba?" and me saying yes.  She has called me Baba ever since.  My two older boys call me that on occasion too.  Abigail loves special days and pretending to have surprise parties.  Oh how long ago do the night terrors seem to be, or the out of control hysterics with us feeling helpless.  Those times seem so long ago and all we could manage was prayer.  Watching Abigail go through the adjustment period for over two years was hard to deal with when you know what she had been through to get to our home.  I read everything I could find to understand her and her story.  So it should be no surprise I was a little apprehensive to "do it all over again".

When Wendy said she wanted a sister for Abigail I did not get too excited, I got scared.  I didn't know if I had the stomach to watch a child go through the transition, even though I knew what a beautiful outcome it would be.  All I could think about was those nights with Abby and the days when she would lay on the floor and scream for what seemed like an eternity.  Her bouts were long and like many with her story, she would not let you hold her or comfort her.  It was all on her and all we could do was let her know "we are here and going nowhere". 

When the reality of a second daughter was on us, all I could do was focus on what it took to get our little flower to open and stay open.  I really was not on board with a second adoption.  I talked to a few friends about how I was feeling, asked for prayer, and I prayed like crazy.  One quiet night when everyone else was in bed, I sat on the back porch and asked God for guidance.  Staring up at the stars all I got back was "let the children come to me".  How could I tell my Savior I was not on board.  He put such stock on the little ones, and now he was asking me to do what he would do.  A friend said, "you can't save them all".  My wise 15 year old son said, "sounds to me like you are focusing only on the negative".  And Jesus said, "let the children come to me".  I made peace with the fact that we can't save them all and that I was focusing on the negative.  I also know I pray to be the hands and feet of Christ so I said, "let Zijing come to me". 

I look at Zijing's picture on my desk five days a week and I am already in love with that little girl.  She deserves a Baba and I can't wait to be her Baba.  I posted a picture from Nanjing because that is the place where I became Baba and forever will be.  I love my kids like crazy cakes.  One going to college, one in HS, one going to Kindergarten and one on the way.  What a great Baba's Day.  Thank you Zachary and of course Jesus for showing me the light.

As life goes on

So when Meg from CAWLI emailed me that she had a file of a then six year old girl and asked if we wanted to look at it, we agreed, somewhat reluctantly. She was so tiny and her medicals were at least a year old. We put her in the back of our minds while the agency tried to get an update on her. Sometimes getting an update is difficult, so we went on with our lives and figured if we didn’t hear anything that this wasn’t God’s plan.

Well, lo and behold, about a month later, in my Inbox were the sweetest, happiest looking pictures of an adorable little girl. My first reaction was, thank you God for the sign update and then, oh boy, hang on, here we go again. See, our first adoption with Abigail was something God had placed on Bern’s heart and I needed to be gently persuaded. This time, it was squarely on me and Bern was trusting that this was God’s plan for our lives. So, when I asked him what he wanted to do, he pretty much left it up to me. Wow. Never do THAT!

So, as you’ve figured out, we locked her file. The process this time is a bit different and lengthier than five years ago, and my patience as I grow older are thinner …my hope is to travel to bring ZiJing home in February or March, but we really don’t know when…ugh.  Hubby says he's going to write the next post, stay tuned...

Once Upon A Time

Isn’t that how all great stories start? This blog is being created to document our family's life, past and present, but most of all to tell about the future and how we came to have two daughters…well, okay, one for now. We already had two wonderful sons, Jack who is 17 and Zachary who is 15. The rest, as they say, is history…

If you would have told me in early 2005 I would have a five year old daughter from China, I would have said “you are crazy”. If you would have told my husband five months ago we would have a second daughter from China on the way, he would have said “you're crazy”; but that is exactly where we are today.

Abigail XinRu, our five year old gift from God, has blossomed into a beautiful young lady and a wonderful daughter, and with two older brothers (15 & 17), she was ready for a sister, she just didn't really know it yet. 

Her story with us began this way: Abigail was 26 months old when we brought her home from Nanjing, in the Jiangsu province of P.R. China in early 2007. We were LID 3-8-06 and had filled out a medical conditions checklist in May of 2006. On Valentines Day of 2007, my husband Bernie was working from home and received a call from our agency stating they had a 23 month old girl with an ear issue and asked if we would like to view her file. Hellooooo!  Three months later, she joined our family. Abby is such a blessing to our family, in ways we see every day and in ways we are surely yet to see.

This brings me to today. After another bloggy friend was advocating for her daughter's friend, I felt God's call to adopt again. Things didn’t work out with that child for us, but God is good and soon she will be home with her new family. Bernie and I wrestled with whether or not to move forward with preparing another dossier, have the agency “look” for another daughter or close the book on this idea once and for all.

After all, we weren’t going to adopt again.ever.