We are on this journey to bring ZiJing home and have been helping Abby mark milestones by "this paperwork" and "that paperwork"; and when its all done, we will bring her home. Soooo...I had one of those moments I've been dreading. Rather than nod in agreement, I explained to her that all babies are born to their mothers. Its just that some mommies can't take care of their babies for one reason or another and leave them in a safe place for someone to find them and adopt them. Others get to stay with their birth mommies and be raised by them. I said that was what happened with ZiJing, her mommy couldn't care for her...and that's what happened to her, Abigail.
She knows she is adopted, but she doesn't really know what that means. I admit I have avoided the whole birth mother thing. It never felt right for me to pray for this person, but I knew the time would come I needed to address it. She didn't ask ANY questions about it, and didn't understand why I was crying, but I knew the gears were grinding. The fact that she woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream verified to me that it was in her subconscious.
Where do I go from here? Guess I'll read the part I've always skipped about the birth mommy in her "Love you like Crazycakes" book...I'm not good at this, not one.little.bit.
1 comment:
Wendy,
I actually wrote out a prayer for the birth parents in Michael and Chloe's lifebook (it's the book of everything we know of their time before us, including issues in their birth countries that lead them to adoption). We read it from time to time and I always cry. We also try to light a candle for the birth parents on their birthdays and tell them their birth parents are thinking of them.
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