All I Want for Christmas....

is our LOA...guess what we got today!  Yes!!!!

 I left work at noon today for the holidays, not thinking I would hear from my agency since I had not yet...
well, I opened my home email tonight and there it was! 

 They had sent it to the wrong work email to begin with and no one called. I forgive them!!! 

Now we have to wait until Monday to send in next set of paperwork which is okay, I want it to be right. 

 All in God's time, all in God's time (a wise man told me that). 

Merry Christmas to all!!!

Words of Wisdom

I keep my nose in the goings on in the adoption world, for obvious reasons.  There have been many notices in the last few days about families receiving their LOA's (letter of acceptance), but nothing yet for us.  Our agency says "any day now" but that feels like an eternity.  My wonderful husband lately seems to know just what to say to make me be still.  I received the following email from him at just the right time:

"Just relax. This adoption thing has always been on God’s time table not ours. If you get it in the next day or so then great and if not then God knows what is best. His ways are not our ways. I Love You."

How blessed I am to have this man in my life...guiding us, protecting us, providing for us...and inspired by Him.

Fun picture, huh?

Random Thoughts

As we wait to hear about our LOA, I thought I'd chit chat for a bit.  Can you believe its almost Christmas?  I'm about finished with the shopping, sometimes enough really IS enough.  Abigail has been "home" for three and a half years now, this will be her 4th Christmas with us!  The really cool thing about this year is, she gets it.  She recognizes that this is all for Jesus and his birth.  She also keeps questioning whether Santa Claus is real or not.  We haven't tried to persuade her thought process one way or the other, but its interesting to watch the wheels spin!  We are going to bake cookies this weekend with Grandma and tie up loose ends.  Looking forward to that as it may be the last one that "small grandma" will remember, so we want to make it special.  Darn Alzheimer's...its so not fair.

(No that's not Abigail's bedroom, its a local nursery that does Christmas very well!)

So anyway, here's wishing everyone a Very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year.  My only wish this year is for a fast process from here on out, so we can bring that little girl home and pray for an easy adjustment.  Amen.

It Hurts So Good

When we decided to enter this crazy world of adoption again, it wasn't a well thought out plan.  It was a "we saw a picture and fell in love"" kind of thing...well I fell in love, Bern fell in shock.  Someone {Cheri} had advocated for a little girl, age 7, who tugged at my heart strings.  After having her file reviewed and praying about it, we decided to move forward.  Through a series of other events going on at the very same time, parallel universes we'll call them, someone else was having the file reviewed and locked it before we could.  I was sad and a little heartbroken, not for this little girl, but more selfishly, for me.  I got over it, picked myself up and moved on to the child God really intended for us to have, Zi Jing.

The coolest thing about this story is, through a mutual bloggy friend, I got to know the woman who would become mommy to this little 7 year old girl.  There are no ill feelings.  So, reading her blog, I am happy to report that this little girl finally has her forever family TODAY and she is so very "right" where she is.

Bittersweet....a  little; happy for them.....you have no idea. 

Congratulations Ma Pei and your forever family!

I.Love.It.

My new best friend, Christie, over at Bushel and a Peck, here , not only has the cutest darn kids in the world and such an honest heart, but her skills at blog design are MAD!!!  Look what she's done for me.  Someday I'd love to dig into learning how to do this, but for now, my money's on Christie!

We had a very nice, family filled Thanksgiving this year and are truly blessed to still have so many of those we love with us. We give thanks to the Lord for He is Good!

The Effort Continues

In an effort to record this crazy roller coaster we are on, I must report that we are finally LID or Log In Date for you who aren't in the know.  This means they have our file in China, they have put it together with ZiJing's file and now they are reviewing it.  Once that piece is complete, they will send us a letter of acceptance, or LOA.  I still holding out hope that we will travel in Feb or March.  Our agency is advocating for a fast LOA so we will see.

In the meantime, today is my Zachary's 16th birthday, so I'll have pics and a story for later :)  Love that guy!

Christmas Giveaways

Had to do a quick post about Stephanie over at Ni Hao Y'all; she's doing a cool giveaway for 30 days and I didn't want to miss out on being entered...do you?

DTC

I haven't had the "gumption" to post anything lately, not that life hasn't been good and things haven't been happening; but now I have something special to announce and that is...we are officially "DTC", or for you lay people, Dossier to China.



This means our paperwork is winging its way to someone's desk in China who will log us in and then we can officially request to adopt Olivia Zi Jing. I am still hopeful (prayerful) that we will travel in February, but will take whatever God has in store for us.


So hang on little girl, mommy and daddy really are coming...

For the Record

I-800A approval 9/22/10.  Thank you Officer Hence.  Bring on LID!!!

I guess their paperwork was done...

As I put my precious Abigail to bed last night, she was telling me all about a classmate who "got a new baby" yesterday.  She was very excited for this child!  Then she made the comment that she guessed their paperwork was done and they could bring the baby home. 

We are on this journey to bring ZiJing home and have been helping Abby mark milestones by "this paperwork" and "that paperwork"; and when its all done, we will bring her home.  Soooo...I had one of those moments I've been dreading.  Rather than nod in agreement, I explained to her that all babies are born to their mothers.  Its just that some mommies can't take care of their babies for one reason or another and leave them in a safe place for someone to find them and adopt them.  Others get to stay with their birth mommies and be raised by them.  I said that was what happened with ZiJing, her mommy couldn't care for her...and that's what happened to her, Abigail.

She knows she is adopted, but she doesn't really know what that means.  I admit I have avoided the whole birth mother thing.  It never felt right for me to pray for this person, but I knew the time would come I needed to address it.  She didn't ask ANY questions about it, and didn't understand why I was crying, but I knew the gears were grinding.  The fact that she woke up in the middle of the night from a bad dream verified to me that it was in her subconscious. 

Where do I go from here?  Guess I'll read the part I've always skipped about the birth  mommy in her "Love you like Crazycakes" book...I'm not good at this, not one.little.bit.

They know us, right?

Since I started this blog to record our journey to ZiJing, might as well share.  There are many steps in this process of international adoption, none for the faint of heart.  Our thinking going in was that it would be "easier" this time since we did it before...they know us, right? 

Well, its been one frustration after another.  Our home study agency is slllloooowwww; we knew that too, but figured they know us, right?  We finally crossed that hurdle and sent our paperwork to our wonderful government agency, the Hague adoption unit of the United States Immigration office.  They work for us, right?  We are tax payers, right?  Well, our "case" was assigned to Officer Hence. 

We notified him immediately after we were successful with our fingerprint walkin (see previous post), so he could move us to the front of the line, because they know us, right?  He didn't return my call, so I called him the next day.  He needed some clarification on our marriage certificate, the embossed seal didn't show up {after almost 27 years, really???}.  I scanned and emailed him the same day so that was all good.last.Tuesday.  I called him Wednesday and he stated he had received it and would approve our paperwork as soon as he could "get it off his desk".  I was so stoked, two days for approval, right?  Because they know us! 

So, here it is Tuesday and no paperwork.  I decide to call him again, surely it was just a mail issue?  Let me tell you that my paperwork is still sitting on his desk, and when I asked if there was anything else he needed from us, he said no.  When I asked when he thought he might get to sending us the paperwork, he clearly stated "when he could get it off his desk". 

 I got off the phone and hid my face in hands and cried.  He knows me, right? 

Right out of Seinfeld - Biometric Finger Prints

Well as you may already know I like to be in control.  So when we got our appointment to be fingerprinted for September 29th I thought "no way can we wait that long".  So after asking around I decided we would just walk in and ask the folks at USCIS if they could fit us in.  So yesterday that is just what we did. 

We (the four adults in the house and I use the term adult loosely) walk in to the USCIS fingerprinting office in Cleveland yesterday around 2:30 and that is when the we fell into an episode of Seinfeld.  There are two federal employees sitting behind a counter doing absolutely nothing.  I walk up to the window and explain our appointment is not for two weeks but was wondering if they could fit us in????  The federal worker's faces just drop in disbelief and turn quite sour.  The female employee states "we don't normally do that sort of thing and you should have called first".  I replied, "I tried to call last week but could not locate a number".  She then replies "we don't give the number out because we would have too many people calling here".   WHAT, that does not make any sense I thought.  After a few minutes of deliberation she says "OK, but if anyone comes with an appointment they will go immediately to the front of the line".  This I could live with as they do have an appointment. 

So we left the window and sat down to fill out our form.  While this was going on the other federal employee gets up and goes somewhere in the back and out of sight.  We are all done with our forms and no one else is in the room but us and the lady behind the window.  She sits and looks angry at us for as long as it takes to wait for another person to show up.  A few minutes goes by and lo and behold in walks a person with an appointment.  She immediately tells us we will have to continue to wait.  Meanwhile the other staffer walks back in to take care of the appointment.  She continues to stare at us and it seems as though we may just sit there forever.  Her point has been well received but some how I can see Jerry, George and Elaine in our shoes.  Looking at each other in disbelief.  She stares, we wait, she looks angry at us and we wait.  Then the ice is broken, "OK I can take one of you now".  My husband got up and off he went and not a minute too soon as in walked another appointment a Nun. She must have been sent from God because before long the sour puss faces were gone, we rotated with the appointments and less than an hour later we were on our way with our approvals in hand. 

This was my last act of controlling the process and it felt good.  Now I am trying to figure out a way to get my I800A approval completed faster.  Maybe I will call our officer tomorrow and see how things are going.  :)

Another First

My sweet sweet Abigail started Kindergarten today.

 Just typing this chokes me up.

 Yeah, I know, kids start school all the time, but...not MY girl. It just reminds me just how far she's come.

A year and a half ago, we couldn't get her to even go to Sunday School. 

She didn't want to leave our side, even for a minute.

 The stress, the tears...then, one day she did it.
 
And it was good.

So, we thought, let's try pre-school. 

She would have none of it.  The stress, the tears...

My girl is a control freak, by virtue of what she's risen from. 

But oh.baby. 

When she lets go, its so good. 

She LOVED pre-school.

 It was a huge step and she made a huge transformation. 

Out of her shell she came. 

So, the thought of starting Kindergarten was never an issue...for her.

She has gone from this beautiful child, in her referral picture back on Valentines Day 2007,

to THIS beautiful child, really full of confidence (most of the time) 

Hope she doesn't forget me too quickly!

...and Zach (gēge)

I DO have two boys.  When we traveled to China in May of 2007 to bring Abby home, we introduced her to her brothers and they were both gēge.  After 3+ years home with her, Zachary still remains such. 

Somewhere along the line, Jack became just Jack...but gēge stuck for Z.  Kind of shows the heart of my "middle" child.  He loved on her and took care of her from the start and found a special place with her. 

Now, they fight like an old married couple, driving each other insane.  But one thing remains...gēge.  And he has a heart of gold.  Now if we could just get that hair cut.

(that's mud, pretty creative, eh?)

P.S.

We finally got our I800a out to Hague, so the next step will be fingerprints (Hahahahaha) and then we will be Dossier to China.  I still think travel in February or March is possible...praying praying praying.

Just Jack...

It really IS all about him...for today.  My firstborn son is 18.  I can't get my arms around that yet, he's really not that old (and neither am I).  And the cool thing about today is, the date... 8-9-10. 

We had a great day yesterday out on the boat with his friend Emily and Zach's friend Justin.  Abigail ruled the roost as usual and we soaked in the sunshine, being together as a family...doesn't happen too often anymore. 

Anyway, we are off to PF Changs tonight to celebrate the big 18 (he'll be celebrating his new MacBook Pro) and enjoying the company of family (for real?).

Hoping for good news today as well from our social worker.  She should have received the last piece of our home study paperwork this weekend and we can get that I800a monkey off our backs.

Frankly, I'm Fried

Well, I haven't had the energy to post lately, this waiting thing has got me down.  It's funny, I follow a few blogs myself and just this week, two of them had lengthy posts on waiting and God's timing.  It's all stuff we know, but sometimes the reminder helps...thanks to them. 

The latest on bringing home Olivia (or is it Ruby??, Abigail likes Ruby...) ZiJing is this...as I mentioned, my prints got kicked out not once, but three times.  The FBI was good enough to write a letter stating what a great person I am and send it to my Social Worker, so that piece is done.  However, since it took so long (my hubby's prints were in on 6-1, breaks my heart), my son Jack will be 18 Monday.  THAT is a whole 'nother post...so, we had him get printed and the Social Worker ordered his child abuse clearance from our state.  His prints are in (his fathers son apparently) BUT now we are waiting for his clearance.  She ordered it a month ago...can you hear my fingers drumming on my desk?  I'd like to get this next phase completed by Friday, but its truly out of my control.  If you knew me, I don't like to not be IN control of something...sigh* 

Yes, all in God's time.

And I just threw this picture in because its one of my favs and I feel like sharin'. 

Frustration 101

Okay, so we had an awesome time on vacation.  Weather couldn't have been better, no fighting and the food was pretty darn good to boot!  The place we stayed was very nice, had the best of both worlds (pool AND ocean) and my darling Abigail learned to swim...underwater...with googles...or without.

 We all came home refreshed and trusting in God's will that our paperwork would all be in place to submit the next step.

Well.

Not so much. 

I just received an email from my homestudy agency.  Seems MY fingerprints were rejected by the FBI. AGAIN.  I've been done electronically, and failed.  I've been inked and mailed them in, and failed.  I've been inked AGAIN and mailed them in, and failed.  I'm not sure what the next step is, this is uncharted territory, but as I wait for a phone call from my homestudy agency, I leave you with these pictures...

Worth the wait?  I think so.

Time Away

As we slog along through this arduous process called adoption, we are taking a much needed, yet bittersweet, break and heading to the beach. 

Mind you, I haven't been to the beach since I was pregnant with my oldest son, Jack.  I think that's why this vacation is a little bittersweet for me, you see, he isn't going. 

He just recently graduated from high school and has his first job.  He took some time off to go to the Alive festival (check it out at Alive.org) and didn't feel right about asking for more time.  I guess that's called work ethic and I am proud of him...but something will be missing on this trip.... 

One Step Forward, One Step Back.

For those of you who are "in the know", we thought we were just about ready to submit our I800a, hopefully before we leave on vacation next week...well, God has other plans...I had issues with my state fingerprints where they couldnt read them electronically, so they inked me the old fashioned way and sent them off. 

Lo and behold, five weeks later, we learn that the BCI could read theirs, BUT the FBI could not read theirs.  I dropped everything yesterday, ran and got them re-done and shipped them off AGAIN.  We'll see.  I hate this frustration, but know it's all in God's timing. 

 I did get ZiJing's care package in the mail as well today, so excited for her to "meet" her family.  Praying that happens...

Sign me Waiting Impatiently....

Wendy

Epic Fail...

as my boys would say...

Abigail attended Vacation Bible School last week at a local church and their final program was scheduled for Sunday afternoon.  The hubby and I had decided that we really had so much to do that if she didn't bring it up, we wouldn't either.  We got some major yard work completed and even made time to take Abigail and Z fishing at the neighbors.

We all had fun and time stood still for bit. 

So, around 7pm, well beyond the time for the "party", my sweetheart realized she missed it.  The tears came fast and furious...hers AND mine.  She was crushed and I have never, EVER felt so guilty.  How selfish of me to think she wouldn't mind missing it, or she'd forget about it...sigh* 

After a trip to the local ice cream joint, things were better...not fixed... but forgiven.  Thank goodness she has a very big heart. 

Lesson Learned.

Earthquake???

Just felt the need to post that I was sitting at my desk today at work, in Akron OH, and the floor shook and my desk shook and we all just looked at each other...wow!  THAT doesn't happen every day, thankful it wasn't a big one and no one was hurt!  Made me think back to China and Haiti and what they've experienced with earthquakes.  No comparison.  No complaints here.

Blessings,

Wendy

Happy Father's (Baba's) day

The first time I was called Baba was on May 8th 2007 in Nanjing.  Today I must have heard "Happy Father's Day" a hundred times and almost all of them were from Abigail.  I can remember her nanny asking "Baba?" and me saying yes.  She has called me Baba ever since.  My two older boys call me that on occasion too.  Abigail loves special days and pretending to have surprise parties.  Oh how long ago do the night terrors seem to be, or the out of control hysterics with us feeling helpless.  Those times seem so long ago and all we could manage was prayer.  Watching Abigail go through the adjustment period for over two years was hard to deal with when you know what she had been through to get to our home.  I read everything I could find to understand her and her story.  So it should be no surprise I was a little apprehensive to "do it all over again".

When Wendy said she wanted a sister for Abigail I did not get too excited, I got scared.  I didn't know if I had the stomach to watch a child go through the transition, even though I knew what a beautiful outcome it would be.  All I could think about was those nights with Abby and the days when she would lay on the floor and scream for what seemed like an eternity.  Her bouts were long and like many with her story, she would not let you hold her or comfort her.  It was all on her and all we could do was let her know "we are here and going nowhere". 

When the reality of a second daughter was on us, all I could do was focus on what it took to get our little flower to open and stay open.  I really was not on board with a second adoption.  I talked to a few friends about how I was feeling, asked for prayer, and I prayed like crazy.  One quiet night when everyone else was in bed, I sat on the back porch and asked God for guidance.  Staring up at the stars all I got back was "let the children come to me".  How could I tell my Savior I was not on board.  He put such stock on the little ones, and now he was asking me to do what he would do.  A friend said, "you can't save them all".  My wise 15 year old son said, "sounds to me like you are focusing only on the negative".  And Jesus said, "let the children come to me".  I made peace with the fact that we can't save them all and that I was focusing on the negative.  I also know I pray to be the hands and feet of Christ so I said, "let Zijing come to me". 

I look at Zijing's picture on my desk five days a week and I am already in love with that little girl.  She deserves a Baba and I can't wait to be her Baba.  I posted a picture from Nanjing because that is the place where I became Baba and forever will be.  I love my kids like crazy cakes.  One going to college, one in HS, one going to Kindergarten and one on the way.  What a great Baba's Day.  Thank you Zachary and of course Jesus for showing me the light.

As life goes on

So when Meg from CAWLI emailed me that she had a file of a then six year old girl and asked if we wanted to look at it, we agreed, somewhat reluctantly. She was so tiny and her medicals were at least a year old. We put her in the back of our minds while the agency tried to get an update on her. Sometimes getting an update is difficult, so we went on with our lives and figured if we didn’t hear anything that this wasn’t God’s plan.

Well, lo and behold, about a month later, in my Inbox were the sweetest, happiest looking pictures of an adorable little girl. My first reaction was, thank you God for the sign update and then, oh boy, hang on, here we go again. See, our first adoption with Abigail was something God had placed on Bern’s heart and I needed to be gently persuaded. This time, it was squarely on me and Bern was trusting that this was God’s plan for our lives. So, when I asked him what he wanted to do, he pretty much left it up to me. Wow. Never do THAT!

So, as you’ve figured out, we locked her file. The process this time is a bit different and lengthier than five years ago, and my patience as I grow older are thinner …my hope is to travel to bring ZiJing home in February or March, but we really don’t know when…ugh.  Hubby says he's going to write the next post, stay tuned...

Once Upon A Time

Isn’t that how all great stories start? This blog is being created to document our family's life, past and present, but most of all to tell about the future and how we came to have two daughters…well, okay, one for now. We already had two wonderful sons, Jack who is 17 and Zachary who is 15. The rest, as they say, is history…

If you would have told me in early 2005 I would have a five year old daughter from China, I would have said “you are crazy”. If you would have told my husband five months ago we would have a second daughter from China on the way, he would have said “you're crazy”; but that is exactly where we are today.

Abigail XinRu, our five year old gift from God, has blossomed into a beautiful young lady and a wonderful daughter, and with two older brothers (15 & 17), she was ready for a sister, she just didn't really know it yet. 

Her story with us began this way: Abigail was 26 months old when we brought her home from Nanjing, in the Jiangsu province of P.R. China in early 2007. We were LID 3-8-06 and had filled out a medical conditions checklist in May of 2006. On Valentines Day of 2007, my husband Bernie was working from home and received a call from our agency stating they had a 23 month old girl with an ear issue and asked if we would like to view her file. Hellooooo!  Three months later, she joined our family. Abby is such a blessing to our family, in ways we see every day and in ways we are surely yet to see.

This brings me to today. After another bloggy friend was advocating for her daughter's friend, I felt God's call to adopt again. Things didn’t work out with that child for us, but God is good and soon she will be home with her new family. Bernie and I wrestled with whether or not to move forward with preparing another dossier, have the agency “look” for another daughter or close the book on this idea once and for all.

After all, we weren’t going to adopt again.ever.